It is 2009 now.
I have survived my “cold veggie-turkey ” attempt at quitting smoking. I am smoke free and feeling okay. We are now in the future ( I should know I woke up and it was 2009, it was 2008 when I fell asleep….) so I am now going to go running. Why? Because if I don’t do something I will probably smoke and I have read so much I think my eyes will fall out. That said, “Bonfire of the Vanitites” Tom Wolfe and “Last Exit to Brooklyn” Hubert Selby Jr. are both stellar reads. I recommend either to insomniacs or biblioholic’s.
Also I am not passing judgement on anyone who smokes. I loved smoking. A lot. But it was really hurting me. A lot. I have some breathing problems I think. I will survive- I am rather strong willed.
Someone I love asked me to stop. I had never been confronted in such a simple way really. It was very emotional and I did not buy another pack of cigarettes after. I did it on my own and without anyone’s help. I can hear myself wheeze now. No wonder. How awful. My life will never be the same.
If you want to quit and think you cannot well you can. You can find the ability in yourself if you want. I know because I have quit doing A LOT of stupid shit to myself over the years. So if you are hanging in there- KEEP HANGING IN!!!
and take care of yourself best you can.
people are counting on me to hold up and be strong so I changed the last two paragraphs here about being weary and needing some time for myself. I will work that out. meanwhile, I am going to try and battle this stage fright thing. and you know, try and be a better person and a better friend. the rest is not up to me.
i hope whatever it is i do is helping someone somewhere because it gets harder every year. i lose more time and more of myself every year. i hope i am making something worthwhile and that cardinals are bringing some kind of happiness to peeps. anyway keep warm and stay cool out there
hang in
cool. later- r
I wish you courage. Be good to yourself.. we are all still learning and growing each year and boy these thirtysomething growing pains aint easy. Sometimes when i’m feelin the blues well its on with the headphones and the sounds of you and the cards can somehow remind me of who I am!Good luck my friend!
